Saturday, April 15, 2006

Hypothetical Sufjan - Nos. 9, 10, and 11, and an Extra One for Good Measure

Two more complete hypothetical Sufjan tracklistings - Kentucky and Kansas - have popped up on the InterWeb. Both are posted in the comments section of the Stereogum mention, and one of the two (Kentucky) lives here.

My favorites from Kentucky, The Bluegrass State, Where Education Pays!:

1. Herbs! Spices! Eleven of Them!
12. March 1992, Philadelphia (In Which a Young Man Looks Back on a Basketball Game Against Duke, Notes Once Again that Christian Should Have Been Ejected for Stomping on Aminu, and Finds His Anger Renewed Yet Again)

And from Say Good Morning to Kansas, and Mean It!:

5. Manhattan, Kansas: The Little Apple
19. Evolution May Be True for You, but Kansans Were Crafted By the Hand of God

And a Mr. O'Boyle wrote in with the following politically charged hypothetical Sufjan album:

Louisiana: Politician's Paradise

1 - Louisiana, Oh, How we are Fucked!
2 - The Bayou is as Black as my Soul
3 - Katrina, You Miserable Bitch
4 - The Chocolate City and Whipped Cream Politicians
5 - All the King's Men are in Prison
6 - The Benevolent Black Bears of Bastrop
7 - Tallulah
8 - Ye Who Bleed Purple and Gold
9 - My Lady of the Night, Stay Safe on Bourbon Street
10 - Beware the Vampires that Roam the Palaces of the Oak-lined Streets
11 - You Did it to me Again, Rita
12 - Elvis Presley and the Louisiana Hayride Debacle
13 - Jean Lafitte, the Pirate of Barataria Bay
14 - Evangeline Lives under the Oak and in My Dreams

Reading this makes me want to see Sufjan get angry.

And finally, April, on the grounds that Sufjan is releasing a second Illinois-related album, chimes in with an Indiana tracklisting in addition to this one:

Indiana: There's More Than We Let on, But Less than One Would Hope

1 - Christmas Burqa or Are You Going to Wear That to Bed?
2 - The Bar is Always Stocked in Alexandria
3 - Hot Nights at the V.P.
4 - Martinsville or Where Black People Fear to Tread
5 - Cruisin' a Circle
6 - Indiana-no-place
7 - How Far to Chicago?
8 - I'll Smack You Right in Your Face or Atlanta, IN not Atlanta, GA
9 - Hicks R Us or You Bet This Is a '96 Iroc!
10 - Yawney Town
11 - Long Days at the Mall
12 - There's More Than Corn in Indiana
13 - But There's a Lot of Corn in Indiana
14 - Saving the Day Light
15 - These is My Beans or That Anti-war Protest Sure is Sparsely Attended

[Click here for the complete (so far) Hypothetical Sufjan discography.]


Anonymous said...

wow, that Louisiana one is really weak (and i say that as a semi-proud resident of the Pelican State). surely someone could do better!

Pete said...

Yikes, have you ever been to Indiana?

Anonymous said...

Yes, Pete -- I've been to Indiana. In fact, I lived there for more than 20 years. (How else do you think I know about all the corn?)

Anonymous said...

the only thing Indiana seems accurate on is corn and circles...

we aren't all hicks...oh you people.

he should totally write a song about Broadripple if he ever does Indiana