Saturday, April 15, 2006

Hypothetical Sufjan Albums - No. 11A

Louisiana has inspired another Hypothetical Sufjan Album (here's the first one). Fortunately, this isn't "Highlander," and there can be two of them. Or, if you prefer, this isn't "Timecop" and two Ron Silvers are better than one. Or something. Anyway, a Mr. Hutchinson sent in the following, and I ate it up like a featherless baby bird:


1 - Welcome to Sportsman’s Paradise!! (It’s Not the Heat, it’s the Stupidity)
2 - The Battle of New Orleans or Andrew Jackson Decisively Wins the Chalmette Presidential Primary through the Unnecessary Killing of 700 Redcoats
3 - Magnolia! Gardenia! Azalea! Bestow upon us Your Fragrance and Beauty!
4 - Angola Prison Rodeo
5 - All God’s Creatures of the Sea and Earth: Let us Fry Them.
6 - Regicide in the Capitol Lobby or Every Man a King or Populist Promises Finally Laid to Rest on a Cold Marble Floor or Despite Your Original Assertion that Being Caught in Bed with a Dead Woman or a Live Man were the Only Things that Could End Your Political Career, All it Took, in Fact, was a Bullet
7 - Ooooh! Aaaaah!! (Discovery of the White Alligator in Lower Terrebonne Parish Sparks Awe and Speculation)
8 - Candy Edwards, What I Have Done I Have Done for You, or Reconciliatory Chorus of the Incarcerated
9 - Wait, is This Arkansas? or Saints Bernard, Charles, James, John, Landry, Martin, Mary and Tammany Graciously Absolve the People of North Louisiana’s Geographical Transgressions
10 - His Royal Highness, King Zulu, Beloved Defender of the Gods of Fun and Toleration, by the Authority Vested in Him and All Mardi Gras Day Regents by Act 42, Louisiana Legislature, Signed by Black Lieutenant Governor Pinkey Benton Stewart Pinchback on April 23, 1872, Does Hereby Ordain and Decree…
11 - The Confectionist Mayor Takes a Regrettable Stance
12 - Riding the Gondolas at the 1984 World’s Fair or Romance and Enterprise Fulfill Humanity’s Promise in the Central Business District
13 - Avoyelles Parish or I Watched, with Envious Consternation, the Church-going Women Don Ornate Hats on a May Afternoon
14 - Jazz Hands for Satchmo! [Featuring George Porter, Jr. and Johnny Vidocovich]
15 - I. Nova Scotia, 1755 or Longfellow, Walk With Me! / II. Who’s Her Mama? Is She Catholic? Can She Make a Roux? / III. Fine Spanish Moss and Spicy, Spicy Tears / IV. Evangeline
16 - Bon Vivants! (Baptist Unease Upon the Introduction of Crawfish-Themed Scratch-Off Lottery Tickets)
17 - Pondering Jean Lafitte at the Foot of the Sunshine Bridge or In the Billboard for Mulate’s I Saw the Past, Present and Future of the Great Pelican State
18 - I. On the Untimely Suicide of John Kennedy Toole… / II. Sazaracs At Dawn
19 - The Storm
20 - Hope Overture [for Accordion and Washboard]
21 - Louisianne (Where Have You Gone, Randy Newman?)

[Click here for the complete (so far) Hypothetical Sufjan discography.]


Key Exchange said...

Mr. Hutchinson = Number One.

Anonymous said...

much better :)

Franklin said...

This may be my favorite of the lot. Very literate, interesting, and diverse. Nice work. Oh, and extremely Sufjan-like.

Anonymous said...

this one is so accurate, a really great job! here's to sufjan actually making this album :)