Zagat on Your Mother

Your mother, it seems, is "so fat" that one often finds her quite literally sitting "around the house." This, combined with her "ugly" looks, makes some wonder whether or not "Halloween came early this year." Regardless, she's quite popular due to her "hardware store" pricing policy of "five cents a screw," and frequent vistiors complain that when one visits her bedroom one is likely to find "a line around the block." Be prepared to wait.